Thinking with the Heart

The ancient Egyptians believed the heart was the source of both thoughts and feelings, unlike in our times where our heart symbolizes the seat of our emotions and our brain the seat of our reason.  In our world, thoughts and feelings are often in conflict with each other.  In the Egyptian world, they must have lived in harmony.  Why can't ours?  That is what I want for my life.  Harmony of mind and heart.  Passion and reason. 

But wanting is not giving to yourself.  This harmony comes with effort.  There must be some reason to our passions, and some passion to our reason.  In the book 48 Days to the Work You Love, Dan Miller quoted James Michener:

The master of the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.  He hardly knows which is which.  He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing.  To him he is always doing both.

What a way to live!  But to achieve that harmony of reason and passion, work and happiness, mind and heart, you have to start small.  Treat it as a career of its own, and it takes time to learn the ways of the job. 

Toward that end, next week, I will try to find ways to put a little happiness into that which I consider my work.  And in addition, I will look at my sources of happiness and see if they can do some work for me.  Then I will journal my efforts.  I encourage you to do same.  In this way, we harmonize reason and passion, work and happiness, mind and heart.  In this way, we begin thinking with our Egyptian heart.

Not-So Daily Happiness Tip #11: Freethought Day

Use this day to resurrect an old idea that was just too out there.  You liked it to begin with, then you talked yourself out of it.  What can you do with this thought today?  How can you free this thought?  (Want more information on this unofficial holiday?  Check out this page.)

Not-So Daily Happiness Tip #10: World Mental Health Day

Use this day to work on your health--your mental health, that is.  Check out mental health sections at sites like Science Daily or Yahoo News for the latest on mental health and for inspiration on ways to improve yours.  But don't just get inspired and informed, do!  Pick something from your favorite mental health news site and try it out today.  (For more information on this unofficial holiday, check out this link.)

Daily Happiness Tip #9: The Simple Life

So often in our lives, we are overworked and overscheduled.  Instead of multitasking, why not simplify some activities and do the activity for the activity's sake.  This way you unwind after the day's mental and emotional workout.  You can read an article to just read, not to learn.  You can play a game to just play the game, not to win or lose or advance in technique.  You can walk to just walk, not to lose calories.  Simplify your activities from time to time to regain some simple pleasures in your life.

Daily Happiness Tip #8: Stop and Sniff

Scents are linked to emotion and memory.  They can soothe or excite.  This dogs know well, often stopping in the middle of a walk to investigate a tantalizing smell.  So next time, follow your doggy's lead and stop and sniff--your candles, your spike rack, or whatever scent hits the spot.

Daily Happiness Tip #7: Thank You Cards

Did someone go out of their way to do something special for you recently?  Don't just say "Thank you"; show it through a card.  Not only will you feel better in doing so, you'll make them feel special--just the way they made you feel in the first place.  (Hint:  E-cards--i.e. online cards--are great for this.)

Daily Happiness Tip #6: Calendar Accomplishments

Calendars are great for schedule-keeping, but that is not generally a happiness-inducing activity.  Accomplishment is.  On your calendar write not just want you plan to do, but something you accomplished that day.  This way your past accomplishments inspire you toward greater ones in the future.

Daily Happiness Tip #5: Hand-Fed Happiness

A pet brings joy and stress-relief into its owner's life.  Why not reciprocate through a simple pampering activity that will make both of you happy:  hand-feed your pet.  This can be pieces of hard food from your pet's regular diet or treats; doesn't matter what precisely, but your pet will love the attention and shower its own attention on you in return.  A win-win situation.

Daily Happiness Tip #4: Be Spontaneous

Life seems to be ruled by schedules -- work tasks, household chores, family demands, and so on.  Today, break out of your schedule, even for five minutes, and do something you want to do but didn't plan on.  For a bonus?  Include the nearest family member or friend in your spontaneity.

Daily Happiness Tip #3: Renew a Friendship

In Tip #2, I suggested chatting up someone new.  Here is a twist.  Renew an old relationship.  Take the time and call someone who has fallen off the radar.  Call the friend you barely see or the relative you only speak to at family events and emergencies.  The groundwork has all ready been laid.  It just needs a little work to spark up the relationship anew.

Daily Happiness Tip #2: Chat Up Someone New

Talking helps.  But talking with new people gives you new perspectives, new ideas, and new conversation.  Try chatting up someone new--a stranger in line with you, a classmate, someone sitting next to you at the hairdresser's--to inject some fresh conversation and insights into your life.

Daily Happiness Tip #1: Ditch the Negatives

A recent study shows that hearing words that describe pain activated the areas of the brain that process pain.  So, using negative words make you feel more negative, and in process, you end up hurting yourself more.  Spare yourself the pain:  ditch the negatives and pick the positive instead.

Source:  WebMD Health News - Words Really Do Hurt - by Jennifer Warner 

Declare War on Your Unhappiness - Part Two - The Reward Strategy

Introduction:  Sometimes it helps to put a face on our happiness and unhappiness, to see them as states diametrically opposed to each other.  Looking at it that way, unhappiness makes war on us, our happiness; so, it is time to take the war to our unhappiness.  How do you do that?  By following the advice of the war expert, Sun Tzu.  That is, "to kill the enemy, our men must be roused to anger; that there may be advantage from defeating the enemy, they must have their rewards."  Let's break this advice down into two parts.  The first part is covered on my Hub Page article.  This blog post covers the second part, that of "rewards".

The Reward Strategy:  The Art of War commenter, Tu Mu, added something important to Sun Tzu's advice quoted above.  That is, "Rewards are necessary in order to make the soldiers see the advantage of beating the enemy; thus, when you capture spoils from the enemy, they must be used as rewards, so that all your men may have a keen desire to fight, each on his own account."

Considering that advice, your incentives are the spoils of your success.  To put it another way, your incentives lie in the answer the following question:   

"What will I get from being happy?" 

The answer should include both tangible and intangible rewards.  For example, "By being happy, I will find more things in life that excite me.  By being happy, I will be able to do more of these things with the people I care about.  I can find hobbies and activities that are fun and excite me.  I can spend more time with my loved ones having good, quality fun.  By being happy, I find time to schedule family walk time, including our dogs.  By being happy, I find time to take pictures with my camera, train my daughter on the camera, and create a scrap book we will treasure for generations to come."

For you see, being unhappy prevents you from activities, opportunities, and the things that make you happy.  The spoils go to your unhappiness.  But by working on your happiness, you claim these rewards for yourself.  

Conclusion:   Using our emotions--rousing ourselves--so we want to defeat unhappiness boosts your energy to fight.  But for long-term endurance in a prolonged battle against your unhappiness, you must follow the above strategy.  This way, you strip unhappiness of its power and empower your way to happiness.  Best of all, your rewards are guaranteed with each success.  So declare war on your unhappiness today, and let me know how it goes for you. 


For more advice:   Read Part One of Declare War on Your Unhappiness (The Rousing Strategy) on my Hub page.

Sun Tzu and the Art of Happiness: How to Declare War on your Unhappiness Today

Photo by vlasta2, found on Wikipedia,

under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Never thought Sun Tzu, the ancient war expert, had advice to share on happiness, huh?  Truth be told, he didn't directly.  But indirectly, his concepts on war can be launched against the enemies of happiness.  Specifically, this week, I am looking at the following idea:

. . . though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays.

How do we apply this advice to a war against unhappiness?  By deciding upon one simple thing--you have to find your happiness before the enemy and war's fatigue takes it away.  How do you do that?  Well, I wrote an article about motive statements for writers that can be adapted to life in general through answering two questions:

• What do you want to do?
• Whom do you want to do it for?

The second question is easily answered--you do this for yourself.  The first question, however, is tougher and involves examining closely your drives and desires.  But once you find the answer, you can attach your happiness to your motives, and it will be like the horses pulling Sun Tzu's chariots--not only has your happiness come along for the ride, it is being carried into the war against its enemies.

So take some time this week to uncover your motives.  I will post articles and exercises periodically this week to help you do just.  That way we both can harness Sun Tzu's advice and take the war to unhappiness and conquer it.

Invite a Sense of Mystery into Your Life

A little mystery is a good thing.  It ties into acceptance, into letting go, into believing in something beyond your own normal perspective and beyond rationality.  Into opening your mind to possibilities.  All survival skills for everyday life.

So, how do I do cultivate a little mystery in my life?  I like to read about weird things.  I read about the Loch Ness Monster or miracles.  I read about ghosts or angels.  Prophecies or tall-tales.  Whatever the subject you read about, don't try to rationalize or discount it.  Just pretend for one moment it is possible; just end the piece with two simple but powerful words:  "Maybe so."

Adopting that stance toward life can lead to happier mental climates.  Doesn't matter if the mystery is true or logical or not; that is not the point of "maybe so".  "Maybe so" isn't about truth; rather, it is a key to opening up a world of possibilities you never bothered to see before.  Such a mindset sees possibilities instead of impossibilities.  Such a mindset allows happiness in.

Try on a little mystery today, and let me know how it goes for you.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The US Declaration of Independence has an interesting line in it, concerning our right to the "pursuit of happiness."  Not our right to happiness, but our right to the pursuit of it.  I am in need of more happiness in my life--who isn't--but it is up to me to make it happen.  How?

Well, a few days back I published an article about just that called Stop and Smell the Roses.  One technique involved choosing an activity that gives you happiness and doing it that day, no excuses.  Well, I am adding a twist.  I am going to give myself several options to choose from to suit my mood and time constraints, and then I am going to do one.

These are my options for today:

• Taking pictures
• Sending link of my butterfly Flickr page to my friend
• Watch a Tudor (Season 2) episode
• Hand feed chickens
• Repot a plant
• Walk the dogs
• Explore the small life at the pond
• Download a song
• Learn a new chord on the guitar
• Go to a movie
• Find freebies

All right.  So, we have the option list--what next?  The next is holding myself accountable through writing about it--in my case, blogging.  Every day, I'll post my option list, my selection, and any musings that relate to it.  That's it.  Simple, huh?

As you can see, it is not hard to pursue happiness instead of just waiting for it to come find you.  All you have to do is come up with things that make you happy, do one of them, and then either write about it in a personal journal or post it on your blog.  If you post it on your blog, consider sharing your entries with your friends.  Your friends may want to support your endeavors or even try it for themselves.  So let me know, did you pursue your happiness today?